Peace is the absence of confusion. Therefore, inner peace is achieved when you’re secure and confident with who you are, your purpose, morals and principles.
It’s hard, but SO worth it.The main idea of radical acceptance is the ability to accept life “as it is”. The situations you face, the relationship you experience — all of it, just accept them.
Let’s think about that a little further and what it really means:
“I just lost my job… and I accept it.”
“My partner is controlling and jealous…and I accept it.”
“My child has started taking drugs… and I accept it.”
Now, if you are honest, you have got to admit that there is part of you that says: “What the…?! How do I just accept this? Is that a reasonable or smart response? Surely, this just means that I am giving up and living like a victim!”
Actually, this part of you is screwing up your face and thinking that this whole thing sounds ridiculous! She/He has a loud voice at times..
She/He is your ego (or part of it) — your survival patterns and learned behaviours that have developed as a result of your history. Her/his patterns are in place to keep you safe, like a disempowered child that needs to behave in a certain way in order to survive.
She/He holds all the beliefs fed to you during your formative years from family, peers, and society (the good, the bad, and the ugly ones).
The good news is that she/he is not all of you. Take a breath and step back into yourself and become the witness to all these thoughts. Your mind can be a very busy place when she/he has a lot to say! From this place, you can witness her/his patterns and behaviors.
Our ego is an amazing place to explore and understand. We can do this in terms of the ‘shadow’ and ‘light’ sides of our ego/personality. Our light side is usually the part of us that we perceive as being socially acceptable to the world, while our shadow is the part that stays hidden.
It’s the part that we don’t want to admit to or show the world.
So from your shadows, she/he says: “What are you talking about?! Survive, survive, survive! Just hurry up and get a new job, get rid of that partnership that’s not working for you because it’s all too hard, and get angry and judgmental towards your child about the drugs. That will fix it…yes!”
OK, take a deep breath and step back into yourself again. You wish to share from a deeper, wiser part of yourself, the part that has infinite compassion, love, and acceptance of all that is. This is your divine nature, higher self, or core wisdom — your true self.
It’s a big step from intolerance to acceptance, don’t you think? It hasn’t always been just a simple step back into this place in me.
For me, this step has taken much learning and repeated practice. It’s a place in you that has been explored and experienced in deeper and deeper levels over the years. It’s a place I now know well :)
To hold the intention of your divine nature (compassion, love, and acceptance), you have to work on and with your ego self and re-frame a few ideas for her/him (so she/he can stop shouting and feeling threatened).
It meant the introduction of a few life philosophies and spiritual insights that helped calm her/him. Let me share 3 of these with you:
Our outer life reflects our inner world. If you have inner turmoil (e.g. ego fears) then this will show up in your life with accidents, arguments, and confusion. If you are feeling peaceful and connected with yourself and others, your outer world is harmonious and things flow.
Therefore, you need to choose the thoughts you have and actions you take carefully. You need to take responsibility and in this way, you are empowered to define your world.
2. Others around us are mirrors to ourselves. An extension of 1, you attract into your world, the experiences and relationships that are exactly what you need to learn and grow. People and experiences are mirrors for you to recognize where you need to fine-tune your thoughts, judgments, and behaviors.
3. There is a flow to life and it’s there whether or not you are aware of it. It’s a flow towards growth, transformation, and peacefulness. It’s the tree (remind me of my tree of life :)) that grows without being told to; it just grows. It’s the caterpillar that goes into its cocoon because it ‘knows’ it is part of the journey.
It is the natural state of all life to be at peace. The challenge is to work out how to release resistance and just flow with it.
**Embrace Who You Are**
There are many more of these ideas and concepts which support your way of thinking and acceptance of life.
Let’s return to the main points of life that we were considering accepting:
Examples:
“I just lost my job” becomes “Perhaps it is my time to move on, I’ve secretly been dreaming about something new” or “What have I learned from this experience? It has taught me XYZ and now when I approach the same situation I’ll do it differently.” From here you can accept the loss, learn from it, and move on.
“My partner is controlling and jealous” becomes “How is my partner a mirror to me? Where am I exhibiting the same traits in my life? If I release this pattern, will that affect our relationship?” or “What makes me stay in this relationship? Is it out of fear? What do I need to do to shift this fear, empower myself and then make the choice to stay or go?” From here, you can accept this, witness yourself as part of the co-created problem, and therefore, learn and empower yourself.
“My child is using drugs” becomes “What is my child really struggling with? What do they need to learn about themselves and life through this experience? Are they a mirror to me in any way? Am I avoiding something I don’t want to look at? What am I to learn from this?” From this place, you can accept the situation and move forward with wise compassionate action.
You will notice that these examples all finish with “I accept this experience ‘as is’”.
**Focus on the Positive**
We are always invited to take some level of responsibility for all the experiences we have in life, either full responsibility or at least some responsibility for the co-created situation.
From this point of responsibility, we are then invited to reflect upon ourselves and our patterns of thought and behavior. The final element is to make the transformations that are required to heal or shift this issue. This is a far cry from victim consciousness.
We are asking ourselves to learn and become empowered each step of the way.
This approach invites us to work from the ‘light’ side of our ego, which exhibits life characteristics more closely aligned with our divine nature — that all-accepting, compassionate and loving part of us.
**Surround Yourself With Positive People**
The more we can inhabit this part of our nature, the more we can hold the experience of witnessing life unfolding, not being attached to the outcome, and being fully present in the moment with love, compassion, acceptance, and ultimately, happiness.
I hope you will find your inner peace with my sharing. :)
Peace and Love to all 💞
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