When I discovered myself as an Empath, I scouted the internet for information on the traits of an Empath and was ‘checking’ myself over the classification. Now let’s us run through the traits of an Empath:
Empaths are highly sensitive ✅
Empaths absorbs other people’s emotions ✅
Empaths are highly intuitive ✅
Empaths need alone time ✅
Empaths can become overwhelmed in intimate relationship ✅
Empath become targets for energy vampires ✅
Empath love animals and nature ✅
Empath have highly tuned senses ✅
Empaths have hug hearts but sometimes give too much ✅
Empath reads people’s emotions ✅
Empath has unpredictable mood swings ✅
Empath is a free spirit ✅
Empath is a problem solver ✅
Empath is creative ✅
Empath sometimes too forgiving ✅
Empath discovers lies and deceptions astonishingly quick ✅
Empath has an innate desire to better the world ✅
Empath dislike of selfish, dull and mean people ✅
Empath often obsessed with order and cleanliness ✅
Empath suffers from chronic fatigue ✅
Empath dislike violence and drama ✅
Empath might suffer from lower back problems ✅
Empath absolutely hates injustice ✅
Empath are introverts….🤔
Wait a minute, I do not fit in that ?!?! Through all the pieces I’ve read, these qualities seem relatively undisputed however, one in particular I just cannot resonate with — INTROVERT. I like being around people, I am an EXTROVERT…yes there is such thing as an EXTROVERT EMPATH! :)
… Being an extrovert, you do feel alive around others, however, do prefer mostly in small groups. You thoroughly enjoy spending time with other people. For example, when I started cycling, I prefer to cycle with a small group of friends, the same when I hike. It does not matter whether you are hiking, or going for a movie, you would prefer to be with friends. Now why do I prefer to keep the group size fairly small, it’s because I find it so much easier to cope with. Too much energies and it’s like adding more and more ingredients to a cocktail — eventually it ends up as an unpalatable mess.
As much as you enjoy being in the company of others, you would not settle with just anyone. If you have a choice between being in the company of someone with negative energy and being alone, you would take the solitary road every time. Yes, you are happy to meet new people, however, if it soon becomes clear that they are giving off a vibe that doesn’t harmonise with your own, you would find an excuse to leave or stay away.
While as an extrovert, you might be happy to go along with others in whatever activity has been suggested, the empath inside of you finds it hard to be enthused by things that you have no interest in. If feels inauthentic to partake in something that you prefer not to do, hence you are more that happy to turn down any invitation if it doesn’t flow your boat. Well that does not mean that you are demanding and inflexible — you just know when and when not to say yes.
An extroverted empath has to cope with a very interesting dilemma which can lead to sudden and extreme swings in energy levels. As an extrovert, you are able to replenish your batteries through contact with others, however, as an empath, you also absorb energies from all around you. What a conflicting paradox within!
While you can easily go days or even weeks in extrovert mode, there will almost always come a point your battery becomes overcharged and you short circuit! Your enthusiasm and excitement for seeing other people almost instantaneously plummets as you struggle to absorb any more energy and you withdraw into yourself.
Sounds familiar? When I looked back, it happened to me over and over again for many years. I realised when I was younger, I only need to flee into my inner cave for a short period, however, the older I get I needed longer mental vacation :) Sometimes I almost fall off the radar as far as socialising goes.
Now, how do we cope? It can get extremely overwhelming if we are not grounded. Here are some practises that have proven helpful to me:
Meditation / Breathwork — Meditation and breathwork practice is imperative to staying in balance. Familiarize yourself with the feeling of your own body, feelings and energy that allows you to recognise when you are holding something that isn’t yours. I have beneffitted from Chakra balancing meditation, but your options are limitless. Find the one that works for you!
Ground and center — Carrying other people’s emotional energy leads to feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and ungrounded. Once you recognise that the feelings does not belongs to you, recenter your awareness back to yourself and get grounded. Grounding is a simple as sitting in meditation bringing your awareness to your tailbone where your Root Chakra is located expend your root out from your feet to the center of the Earth, wrapping the core. I love to do this at night before my bedtime. If you are not able to meditate, you can also get grounded by spending time in nature, noticing all the greens, the birds chirping, the leaves whispering, the wind blowing into your face. If you are in a building or at work, just walk out of the building find a tree, just stand by it, touch it, take a few deep grounding breathe. You will be surprised how fast you are rejuvenated! I tried that today, and it was amazing!
Let go of what isn’t yours! — Extroverted empath are drawn to engage with many kinds of people and absorb thoughts and feelings that aren’t yours. Pause frequently and take a big sigh out to release anything that isn’t yours to hold.
Seek out smaller groups-Have your activities or dinner with a few close friends.
Take breaks- You have to be willing to take breaks alone to recharge, even if it’s for an hour or two to avoid emotional burn-out. My favourite recharge time is in my room, listening to music and reading my book. Take time away from your handphone as well! A short break if you can’t take a long one— small window in the day to reconnect with yourself ultimately will allow you to keep up the energy to support your extroverted nature.
Take your “Me-time”- This is what I would love to do, take your laptop to a not too crowded cafe and write, or read a book. Enjoy the company of the strangers without directly engaging with them.
For all the extrovert empath out there, my hope that my sharing will enable us to embrace the paradox that we are.
Peace and Love to all 💞
Comments